Let him decide my fate

I am lying on the hospital bed. A numerous instruments, making the beep sound are present around me. Needles are pierced in to my body after every two hours. A bottle of glucose is what is constant since many days. My hand has swollen. I can feel the needle inside me. Every slight movement I make, I feel the pain. My head is covered in bandages. There exists a kind of numbness. I feel as if the connection between my brain and my body has been tampered. That’s probably one of the reasons why I cannot move my head.

I take a look at my legs. They are covered in plaster. My legs have been fractured. Am I becoming a vegetable? I cannot see myself in this condition. I try to move, knowing that it will bring me pain. My nurse notices me. She comes up with an injection and injects it in to the glucose pouch. 

The medicine is slowly entering, drop after drop, in to my body. It’s taking a toll on my body. I am drifting in to sleep steadily. The moment I sleep, I take off to an unknown place. I can see myself smile and read something. I take a closer look at the book. ‘Computer Graphics’ is what I read. The ringing alarm catches my attention. It’s 3 o’clock by the watch. I close my book and go to sleep.

***

It’s 6 o’clock in the morning. The alarm rings, again. I see myself waking up and rushing to the bathroom. I wait for me to finish the nature’s call.

My mother enters the room. She places a mug of coffee on my table and leaves. I am tempted to take a sip. But I don’t. I see myself busy with my book. I keep watching me and my actions.

***

“Mom, why didn’t you tell me the time? It’s 8:30! I am late for my exams.” I yell at my mother.

“You should have kept a track of time.” I get angry hearing her.

I quickly finish my breakfast and dress up. I hurriedly pack all my books and notes. Few minutes later, I see myself standing at the bus stop.

Am I going to make it? Am I going to reach in time?

I can see a bus at the corner of the road. I notice myself adjusting my bag. The bus comes to a halt right in front of me. I put a step forward to get in the bus and the bus moves. I fall with a thud on the road. The fall is so hard that I bleed immediately. I am lying in the pool of blood with broken legs, bruised arms and a seriously injured head.

I now understand it all- the reason for the plasters, the reason for the bandages, the reason why I am in the hospital.

I can see my parents crying. They are sitting besides my bed. They want me to wait. I too want to. But I can’t. It’s time for me to go. My journey here has got over.

What would have happened if I had kept a track of time that day?

What would have happened if I had studied everything in advance?

What would have happened if my dad had offered me a lift to college?

What would have happened if that had happened? What would have happened if this had happened?

I can now do nothing about it- just regret. I realized the value of time today. I know that I took time for granted and I have suffered a great loss because of it. But, today, I won’t. I do not have energy left to fight back.  I surrender myself to the time. Let him decide my fate.