Today, it has been 3 days that I
am out, away from my parents, away from my love, away from home. I am sitting
in this train since then. I do not have any intention of getting to the place
this train is heading for. I want this train not to have any destination. If
the train stops, so does my life. I have convinced myself to this. ‘A train
having no destination’ is out of the world stuff. I know that this is not
possible, but I still wish for the same.
I am sitting near the window, my
body and face covered in a blanket and eyes stuck at a place called
nothingness. It’s been a long time that I have moved from my place. My lips
have gone dry. I do not feel thirsty. There is not even a grain of salt inside
my stomach yet I am not hungry. It seems as if thirst and hunger have been
removed out, from my system. I was never like this before! What has happened to
me? Am I sick?
The train comes to a halt. Some passengers
climb in while some get down. I turn my gaze from the window to the entrance of
the compartment. And he gets in. Our eyes meet for a brief moment. He is an
average looking guy with curly hair. He places his luggage on the berth and
resorts to reading a novel, I suppose. I glance at the cover of the novel from
the corner of my eyes. He notices my movement. I quickly turn my eyes towards
the window. He smiles to himself. I see him smile. I do not react. I go in to
nothingness once again.
***
My sleep is disturbed by the
hawkers. I wake up and the first thing I do is ‘look at him’. He is busy
chatting with another passenger. I fetch my water bottle from my bag and take a
sip. During this process, the part of blanket that is covering my face shifts
and my entire face is visible to him. He looks at me and smiles. I frown and
close my eyes. I drift in to my dreamy world. Sleep has been my best friend
since 3 days. She is with me always. I do not need anything else.
***
I am woken up by a tap on my
shoulder. It is him. He stares directly in to my eyes. His brown eyes have an
intoxicating effect on me. They are telling me a story, instructing me,
advising me, shouting at me, killing me. I cannot look further in to them. I shift
my gaze and purse my lips.
“You need to eat something. You
mustn’t ignore food for long.” He says softly.
There is something in his soft,
melodious voice that makes me nod my head in affirmation.
“I shall get something for you!”
He says and leaves.
He is back few minutes later with
dosa and chutney.
“You love it. Don’t you?” He
asks.
I nod. I do not have any energy
left to speak.
“How does he know that I love
dosa with chutney?” I wonder.
I eat the food hurriedly and wash
it down with the cold drink that he has got for me. I smile at him, for the
first time. He smiles back with a twinkle in his eyes.
“Feeling better?”
“Yeah!” Words escape from my
mouth, finally.
“I am Akul. You are Miss?”
“Prachi.”
“What’s your story?”
I am puzzled.
“I do not have any story.” I say
while shrugging my shoulders.
“Frizzy hair, empty stomach,
tears dried on the cheeks, dry lips, sleepy and hurt eyes, covered up body, a
single bag pack, no mobile phone – and no story?”
“Yeah! No story!”
“Come on Prachi! We are friends.
Aren’t we?”
“No! Not yet!” I say.
“It’s okay! I know your mind is busy
in that whirlpool of thoughts.”
“I am not thinking anything.”
“Prachi, you are a bad liar.”
***
It’s night time. He is sleeping
and I am awake, counting the stars. I think about his talk.
“How does he know about my
thoughts?
You appear so very vulnerable!
Anyone could have understood about your situation!” my mind replies.
“Have I over-reacted to the
situation?”
“No! You haven’t. You did the
right thing.”
“Emotional right or Practical
right?”
“Right is right – no emotional,
no practical! Appropriate is the word.”
My mind is yet again, travelling
to places which I do not want to visit. Tears are welling up in my eyes again. I
find difficulty in breathing. My head is spinning round. The next moment I see
is that I have landed up on the floor.
***
“Are you okay, Prachi?” His arms
are hugging my shoulders.
“Hmmm.”
“The next station we reach, you
are getting down and seeing a doctor!” He orders.
I just stare at him.
“Okay? Answer me!”
“Okay.” His soothing voice is
casting a spell on me. I am enchanted with his presence around me.
“You shouldn’t have left your
home, Prachi! A loveless marriage has no meaning. It’s better to break the bond
and move on. Clinging on to things which do not mean anything to you won’t do
any good. Accept them the way they are. Respect their decisions. I agree that
you should not have seen them like that. But has running away helped?”
“You do not know anything about
me! So just stop blabbering all that nonsense.” I shout.
“Trust me, Prachi! I know it all.”
“No! You don’t!”
“Here! Read this!” He hands over
a letter to me.
“Read it when I am gone.” He
further adds.
He places a kiss on my forehead,
cups my cheeks and moves towards the entrance of the compartment. I am
surprised at his gesture. I look at him. He is near the door. I blink my eyes. He
is not there.
“He has fallen off the train! He
has fallen!” I cry.
My fellow passengers pull down
the chain and the train stops. The Ticket Collector and few passengers get down
and look for Akul’s body. His body is nowhere
to be found.
“There is no one there, on the
tracks. You are mistaken Ma’am. You must have been dreaming.” Says the Ticket Collector.
“No! He was here. His name is
Akul. Please check for his details.”
The Ticket Collector opens up his
register and searches for Akul’s name. I, too, do the same. He scans through
the second page. No results. Then the third and so on! Akul’s name is missing.
I am angry now. He deceived me.
I open up his letter to read.
Dear Prachi,
My body is missing. Is it not? Do
you know who I am? Have you wondered why I knew so many things about you? Have you
given a thought as to how I know about your parents and their extra-marital
affair?
Prachi, whatever happened has
happened, you cannot change it. Always remember, you are the mentor of your
future. What you sow today, you will reap it later. Running away from problems
is not the solution. Solution lies in facing it.
Suicide is the heinous crime. Don’t
ever commit it.
Go! See a doctor today itself!
Have you figured out who I am?
“Trust me! Believe me! I shall not disappoint
you!”
Love,
God.
I had tears in my eyes now that I
had finished reading the letter. I hugged the letter and cried my heart out. I looked
like a disaster. I folded the letter and placed it inside the pocket of my
jeans. I rushed in to the washroom.
On returning back, I decided to
re-read the letter again. I found the letter, nut it was blank. The letter was
no more, it was just a paper.
The next station arrived. I got
down the train, all fresh and determined to live a better life, to go home and
forgive my parents. My God is with me, watching me, protecting me! Do I need
anything else?
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